regarding NYC.

5.03.2010

new york city is still a mystery to me. i've been there only 4 times and still hate manhattan. yes, it's impressive and all that, but just being on that island makes me feel the constant need to shower. the dirt, the garbage, the people, the smell, the money, the consumerism. i rarely find anyone who agrees with my perspective on this, but that's ok. i'm fine with going solo on this one. the one redeeming quality: the food. oof.

i do like brooklyn, however. it makes me much more comfortable. i spent last weekend there with my beautiful friend iris. i've known her since the tender age of 14 and we have that kind of friendship where you can not talk or know what's going on with the other person for like 3 years and then get in front of each other and scream and jump up and down and pick right back up where you left off as if no time has passed. i hate that we don't get to see each other more, but it makes me want to explode with happiness that we don't have to have that to hold each other in our hearts.

she introduced me to a bunch of fantastic people that made me feel more than welcome. NYC is a quandary. i've never been to a place where i've felt more ordinary. everyone is attractive and does interesting things and has eccentric talents and cool jobs. and it's the norm rather than the exception. there are super models walking the streets, carrying their plastic-wrapped dry-cleaning heading off to a shoot. there's a band playing here, a dj spinning next door, and a gallery opening down the street. it's enough to make you feel downright ugly and uninteresting.

iris and i talked about the redundancy of relationships in a place like NYC. she said that you will start dating someone, and you connect, and it's intriguing, but there is the underlying nagging feeling that there is probably someone "better" out there for you. and i get that. i mean, it's hard enough to keep your eye on the prize when you're floating along in a Sea of Ordinary. i can imagine the exponential difficulty if you're swimming around in a Sea of Incredible. el Mar de IncreĆ­ble!

so befuddled was i that i didn't even seize the opportunity to take any photographs. not even one. which is completely unlike me. i was overwhelmed and over-stimulated and have nothing to show for my excursion but my memories and these here thoughts. that's really only a half-reason. the other reason is that sometimes i want to actually just have the fun instead of documenting having the fun. i know. CRAZY.

mmmmm i already miss iris. she feels like home. i hereby vow to never let 3 years happen like that again.

2 comments:

DJ Dune's Dad said...

i get what you're saying about swimming the sea ov incredible.. but that's exactly what makes NYC feel so comfortable to me. like finally a place where motherfuckers DO and BECOME shit, not just floating thru life waiting to be entertained by.. something. makes me feel at home and accepted all at once, instead ov being in the Sea ov Ordinary where motherfuckers just HATE you because you're awesome.

raena said...

i can totally see how someone like you would thrive in that environment. and not that i think i'm a talentless, homely heathen or anything, but i guess i've gotten used to standing out instead of blending in. my ego can't take the blow. haha

as i was typing that, i totally had "LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD" running through my head and i'm not sure how it even fits but i'm saying it anyway.

"WE ARE STRONG . . no one can tell us we're wrong . . "